Curtis Klingle

Trust, the Avenue to Love   

It is said that trust is the avenue to love. If that is so, then logically trust must be present in order for there to be love. What if it’s not? What if one has difficulty with trust? Does that negate his ability to love? I think we could infer that at the very least, it will inhibit it.

In I Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul wrote that anything we do outside of the spirit of love has no value; anything we do without love as the medium is useless. To add to the problem of trust, he writes in 13:7, love, “…always trusts…” (NIV) The bar continues to be raised and for those of us that find trust difficult, this is troublesome to say the least. Over and over again, we see this theme of trust and its intricate link to love. If Adam had loved God and trusted what He said, then the tragedy in Eden would not have occurred. If Cain had loved Abel, then he would not have murdered his brother. If we love God and trust Him to do what He says, then there is no issue keeping the first four of the Ten Commandments, and if we love our neighbor, then the remaining six are simple. Jesus himself was asked what the greatest commandment was and He responded with, “‘…love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’” He went on to say that, “‘The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Mark 12:30-31, NIV) Jesus’ words drive home the fact that love is a verb which implies action, and how we feel is of no consequence.

Christ said that I am to love God with all of my heart and soul, and it is here where the difficulty begins. In order to love God, I believe there must be some element of trust present. Now, I do love Him and I want that love to be with my entire being, but if I am honest, I have many moments when I am not so sure God is completely trustworthy. We live in a world of beauty and bombs, radiance and razor wire, and good and evil. It seems that we are striving to do what is right, being productive members of society, helping our fellow man, and trying our level best not to be like the rest of the world, and yet we are being afflicted at every turn. We are bombarded with a plethora of diseases, seemingly attacked from all sides by those that hate us, all while the enemies of God who seem to be endowed with exceptionally good health, proliferate in numbers and in the vileness of their acts. Why? This kind of action, or rather inaction by our Creator, seems flippant and erratic and is not conducive to building trust. If trust is indeed the avenue to love, it is no wonder that some find it difficult to love Him.        

Loving my neighbor as myself, well sir, that is yet another tall order. What exactly does that mean? I sense no affinity towards myself, nor do I have warm feelings or affections for myself. In fact, there are times I actually abhor my own presence. Carry that further, and there are things I absolutely detest about myself. The truth is, I’m not even sure I know myself. And I query, can any of us say that we know ourselves? In order to love there must be trust and in order to trust, there must be some knowledge of the one that we are placing our trust into. The little I do know about myself actually tells me I too, like I said earlier about God, am at times, untrustworthy. If my ability to love is directly affected by my trust or faith in myself, then how can I love? If I do not trust myself, nor have any real love for myself, how can I possibly love my neighbor, much less, love God? What if I am so broken, so destitute in spirit that I cannot reach out to Him? He knows that I have great difficulty in trusting Him, thus, what love I do offer Him is a trifling thing. If it is love that I give Him, it is weak and flaccid, and undoubtedly ineffectual according to St. Paul. Remember, Christ Himself said, I am to “…love God, with all of my heart…” But I find that my heart is divided, with one part seeking to trust Him, and the other standing obstinately to one side. It is heart wrenching to examine one’s self and to come to the realization that you are not just coming short, but failing miserably.     

Let’s say I could love myself, then I’d have to apply that level of love to those called my neighbor. The biblical view of neighbor can be anyone who we come into contact with, and I believe this can be extended to someone we are also informed of that is in need. That need can be in the form of spiritual, emotional, or physical lack. My first question would be, “Lord, have you met my neighbors?” I have worked among the bottom 10% of the population for many years, and I have a very good understanding of my “neighbor.” “Quite frankly Lord, I find him to be offensive.”    

I think we all have difficulty in this realm, loving those we may deem unlovable. It is difficult to love the thief, the abuser, the maligner, the murderer, the non-conformist, and to say that “we love the sinner and hate the sin,” has the distinct odor of hair splitting. What about those people we simply don’t know? Those we encounter on the road, in convenience stores, in restaurants, and how they seem less. Even those who live nearby who are suffering seem distant. We are not vested in these individuals, and they are strangers to us. We can watch the news and hear about the myriads of tragedies that took several lives this day, all while we eat our supper. We don’t know them, so they seem less, less than us, therefore they are not our brethren.   

But they are.    

Something of even greater concern comes to mind as I think about this thing called trust. If trusting God is the goal, and I believe the majority of us seek that, what happens when He begins to trust us? This bears serious consideration, and I tremble as I ponder this thought. To have the accolade of “a friend of God” bestowed upon you will cost you something. For those of us that seek it, have we counted that cost? What ramifications can occur when the Creator of the universe begins to trust us? If that doesn’t cause you at least some disquietude, it certainly should. The greatest extant document we have on the topic of trust is also the preeminent study on misery and suffering, and in its opening lines we find this disturbing quotation,

“Have you considered my servant Job…?”

When we first encounter those words, we typically just read right through them, and it isn’t until a few verses later that you stop, and quite literally ask yourself, “Wait! What did He just say? Hold on a minute!” And that is when you realize that God picked that fight! We find that Job had become the centerpiece of a cosmic battle between the Creator and the epitome of evil. Job had no idea he had been placed in this position. We are able to watch the events unfold as Satan is progressively given more intimate access to God’s friend.

Do I want my Father to trust me to that degree? Do I want Him to trust me so much that He is willing to pick a fight with the great adversary with me as His primary chess piece? I’m not so sure. I have no desire to suffer, suffering implies, well, suffering. What is of even greater concern for me is the fact that I would likely disappoint Him. I have wondered, what if Job had been given the ability to somehow “break through the fourth wall” and see that he was on the grand stage of the universe. Would that knowledge have made any difference? I don’t think it would have made it any easier, in fact, it may have even worsened his suffering and dissolved his trust in God. If I were in his place, the outcome I fear would have been to ultimately do as Job’s wife suggested to him, I would “…curse God and die.” It is curious to me that this seems to cause me more pain than the thought of the suffering. They say it is in suffering where we get to know Him, and it is also when we get to know ourselves. I find I’m not sure I want to know Him that well, or myself for that matter. It seems my cowardice knows no bounds. For those who take offense at my timidity, a word of caution, be careful when you say you are ready to suffer for Him because I suspect you know not what you are saying. 

Continuing upon this path, my thoughts try to unearth examples of trust, and it is remarkable where I land. Instead of trust, I touch down in that barren field of betrayal, the ultimate betrayal, the land where the seeds of distrust are first sown. God indeed provides us with revelations into our souls if we diligently seek them. Please forgive me if this opens up those old wounds which many of us carry.

Children intrinsically look to adults as providers and protectors and place their trust for both of those provisions in their parents, grandparents, actually, any and all adults that they are close to. I also believe that most adults have an innate ability and desire to care for children, but not all do.

Sadly, this gift of trust that children come equipped with becomes a curse for many. When the predator sets his focus upon his prey, he uses the child’s trust to ensnare him. These innocents are violated, soiled, and broken. That little person will find it difficult, if ever really, to trust anyone again, much less God. After all, who can trust some great benefactor in the sky who they cannot see, touch, or feel, when one that they could see, touch, and feel molested them, or abused them? The personality, behavior, and the paradigm of the child is skewed henceforth, and a seed of rot is planted within them in this heinous act. It sprouts and grows sending its malevolent tendrils throughout the child to infect his entire soul. It is the most self-proliferating sin and ingeniously nefarious strategy of the devil yet devised! Truly, if you want to screw up a human being, then catch them in those formative years. 

Abuse, whether physical, psychological, or sexual is the root cause of distrust for so many, though they may not even know it. The horrors of abuse are often buried so deeply, that most cannot even get at it in order to address it. All they know is that they don’t trust. This inhibits their ability to trust their fellow creatures as well as placing their faith in God, thus, the ability to love is also affected. It is a life that is typically void of true friendship and intimacy.

Anyone that reads my writings can quickly deduce that I have struggled with trust and love my entire life. I am no different than many of you who want to get this right, but we continue to fall flat our faces. The pain, the confusion, the insecurities in my relationship with Him have caused me more hurt and suffering than anything. What is more, these failings have worked their way to the forefront in any intimate relationship I have had. The more intimate they become, the more prominent is my reaction to becoming guarded and resistant. Human beings are perceptive and they know whether you trust or not, and linked to that is the ability to discern whether we love. Without trust, there is little or no love; the love that is present is weak and insipid. Without love, there is only loneliness. With loneliness there is only despair. With despair there is only hopelessness. It is in the state of hopelessness where we find death awaits with his cold embrace, and we discover that we begin to long for it. This knowledge is heart wrenching, yet somehow comforting. I also know that many of you suffer this malady, but to know is the beginning of healing. As Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”

It is darkest before the dawn.   

In his treatise on love titled, “The Greatest Thing in the World,” Henry Drummond addressed those horrid, buried things within each of us. In the following excerpts he was specifically addressing anger which inhibits one’s ability to trust and love. He postulated that in order to deal with these wounds, “We must go to the source, and change the inmost nature…” I am not sure Drummond recognized just how profound this observation was he made in 1884. Virtually all childhood victims of abuse grow up to be angry adults who do not trust. Drummond went on to say that, “Souls are made sweet not by taking the acid fluids out, but by putting something in—a great Love, a new Spirit, the Spirit of Christ.” As I previously wrote, most of us cannot get at those old wounds which inhibit our ability to trust, but Christ can, and He will. But I will forewarn you, it is not an easy path to traverse. It will be a long and arduous journey for most of us, quite possibly a lifetime, and it may never be healed completely on this side of eternity, but I can guarantee you the healing will begin as soon as you allow Him access to it.     

The first thing you must come to grips with is the fact that God loves you and will never harm you. Next is recognizing your own fallenness. When you probe the scriptures what you will find is that outside of a relationship with Him, we are each devoid of goodness, destitute of love and kindness, we are dead. This is indeed the state of us all. There is nothing good in us that is not tainted. It is a life of despair which is really no life at all. I think it is when we recognize that this is our own state, that our hearts are opened and our spiritual ears are enabled in order to hear, His still small voice. It is Him that calls us. It is Him that saves us. It is Him that empowers us to receive Himself. It is Him who dwells within us. It is Him who heals us. It is Him who enables us to trust and to love.

It is extremely important to understand, that you did not choose Him, to the contrary, He chose you. John 15:16, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.”

Stop for a second and ponder this. Out of the over eight billion people on this planet, He chose you! He chose each of us! He who knows everything about your past, and even all of the evil you would do after receiving Him and yet, He still chose you!

1 John 4:19, “We love Him because He first loved us.”

It is the love of God which enables us to love Him and love each other. This is not merely a love of gratitude, in fact, to say so is to lessen what the author of 1 John is trying to convey. The origin of our love is God’s love. Our love is an effluence of God’s love. Human love can be limited or even prevented when it is not returned, but that is not the case with God’s love.

Love is defined as – “an intense feeling of deep affection.” In the English language we have but one word for love and our language is limited in its ability to convey much of the Greek thought behind the scriptures. When the biblical authors refer to God’s love, the word they use is, “agape.” Agape can be described as God’s love for humans as well as the reciprocal love we have for God. In Scripture, the transcendent agape love is the highest form of love. This love extends to the love of one’s fellow humans. It is unselfish, does not need reciprocation, it seeks to place the recipient’s needs above that of the giver.

Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

It is the application of the truths, indeed, where we place our trust, that makes us unique among all the peoples of this world. Upon salvation we each receive Christ within us. He moves into our souls and begins making things anew. He places our feet upon the path to trust, and we are imbued with His love.

Blase Pascal said, “Human beings must be known to be loved; but Divine beings must be loved to be known.”

I find that Pascal is right. If I love God, what I soon discover is that trust accompanies my love for Him. In fact, the more I love Him, the more I begin to trust Him. The fact that I trust Him is proof that I am progressing in my knowledge of Him; I begin knowing Him intimately. If we keep in mind the truths just discussed that He chose you, that He loves you, the old you is dead, and that the new you is the residence of the Creator of the universe, it will drastically change the way you see things. Conversely, with my fellow human beings when I begin to trust them and realize that their intentions are good, I begin to love them, and the more I love them the more I trust. Bear in mind that the love I refer to is agape.

Through loving God and coming to know Him, you will not just recognize but realize how truly special, how invaluable you are to Him. This is what enables you to love yourself. As our love for Him grows, our trust in Him flourishes and that begins flowing into the lives of others. I can assure you; this is not an overnight process. We’re talking about a lifelong journey. Remember what Paul said, “…love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Those seeds of trust are planted and watered. As they grow and are nurtured and cared for, they will develop into love.

We can place our trust in Him with the foreknowledge and reassurance that He will never fail us. We may not always understand what He is up to, but no matter what it is, it will be for our ultimate good. Loving others also require us to trust. To place our trust in another human being is to accept the fact beforehand that they are going to fail us. We are all fallible and fickle creatures, some more so than others. To love another person is to walk into that relationship with eyes wide open and accepting that you will be betrayed. It is not a question of “if” but one of “when” because it is going to happen. It may not be a life changing betrayal, but even something considered small, can be the source of unspeakable pain. But we must love. I dare say that a life without love is a useless existence. And to love there must be an element of trust. I think of a double helix, such as what we find in our DNA. These two strands, one of love and the other of trust, inseparably intertwined, and like the double helix of our DNA, it is provided for the total operation of the human machine. We cannot function to our full capacity without trust and love.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broke. If you want to keep it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 

I know a detractor might say that my love for God is mere self-delusion. I would argue from a point of experience that the love I have for Him is as authentic as that love I have for you. Love is a choice, but as I pointed out at the beginning, it is a command for the believer. Love is a verb which implies action. I choose to love you, and I choose to love my God. What is more, as His word tells me, if I love Him and keep His commandments, He will love me, and He will manifest Himself to me (John 14:21). These manifestations can come in many forms, and there is nothing specifying as to how He will manifest. What I find is that He manifests Himself in His word. I sometimes experience Him in conversations with others. I sometimes sense His presence in a sunrise or a sunset. There are moments when there is an actual physical sensation present, not unlike that which we feel when greeting someone we love. But what I sense the most in His manifestations is that peace that scripture refers to as “surpassing all understanding.” Philippians 4:6-7 

In closing I would like to leave you with this thought. I Corinthians 13 is affectionately known as the “love chapter.” Within its mere 13 verses, we find the grand description of love, in fact, it is a picture of the summum bonum painted with perfection by one formally called, Saul of Tarsus. When we first meet this man, he is lacking in love and is instead filled with hate and malevolence. It is difficult to reconcile that this, Saul and the author of 1 Corinthians are the same person, yet I, as well as many of you can relate to him. That callous, supercilious man, once filled with disdain and contempt for others, is now filled with the light of Christ. He had not only learned to trust God, but had grown to love Him more than anything, even life itself.

C. Klingle

P.S. I would like to provide an answer to the “why” question, which causes so many to distrust God. God can and will make all things aright, but it will require His return, and rest assured He is going to do just that. The book of Revelation describes this return vividly. It is filled with hope and love for the ones that belong to Him, but terror and death awaits His enemies. I pray you know Him prior to His stepping into our plane of existence.  

Regarding this topic, I think C.S. Lewis addressed it best, “God will invade. But I wonder whether people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realize what it will be like when He does. When that happens, it is the end of the world. When the author walks on to the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else—something it never entered your head to conceive—comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing; it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realized it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last forever. We must take it or leave it.” The Case for Christ