Selflessness

Facebook Post- February 23, 2023

I was recently reunited with a dear friend. As time has a way of doing, her life too had drastically changed and even entered the realm of topsy-turvydom. Much to my surprise my friend, now in her 50s, had adopted her granddaughter. In those years when we are either living in, or preparing for retirement, she had taken on the mantle of being a parent once again.

To those who take up this task, they have committed themselves to a life of selfless service, a sequel to that of raising their own children. As I pondered this, I asked myself if I could emulate my friend’s actions. What I found upon introspection is that I initially hesitated, and that brief wavering caused me great anguish. The cold hard evidence that I am still more concerned with my own self-interest came crashing down upon me. I suppose if pressed, I would acquiesce to such a situation, but even that infers resistance. As I thought about this what I discovered is that my friend had attained a level of selflessness I can as of yet only dream of. While I am joyful for her to have grown to this level, I am deeply grieved in my own soul at the realization that I am still yet more concerned with myself than living the selfless life. The Greek philosopher Thales said, “The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” I would add that it is also the most painful.

Another friend and I were talking the other day about those people in our lives who displayed selflessness. It was these individuals that made the greatest impact on each of us, and I suspect it is the same for all of us. Of those we spoke of, the one defining characteristic was that they seemed to have learned to shut out the business of the world whenever another speaks, and to hear what the other person has to say. They can shift their focus immediately to what it is important, and that is to someone else. They had developed that unique ability to immerse themselves into that person as if they were the most interesting and most important person on the planet and, in that moment, they indeed are. This is one of the many facets of selflessness.

Encounters with selfless human beings are rare. I have met sparingly few and nearly all of these meetings with what I would describe as earthly angels, were unexpected. I find that the word which defines them is an anomaly itself. Think about the times you may have used the word “selfless” and the reaction of your listener. When you speak the word, isn’t there always a pause, as if the person’s mind is trying to search for an example of this strange descriptor? And do we not sense a pause in ourselves when we encounter one of these individuals? They are alien to our minds and they go against the grain of humanity. They are so unlike the rest of us that we find them to be oddities.

If you study the word “selfless,” what you find is that it fits inside the definition of agape, the Greek word for love. Agape is unconditional, unmerited love, and it is a love filled with grace. Agape seeks the benefit of others; it is a sacrificial love. It is used biblically to describe God’s love demonstrated at the Cross via Jesus’ sacrifice, His selfless act.

If we return to the example of listening, think of Christ’s words and actions in each of the gospel accounts. What you will find is that Jesus immersed Himself into each and every individual He encountered. Every person knew they had His full attention, even those who persecuted Him.

It is as if agape and selflessness come from the same mold. It is so rich in love that it can be indistinguishable from love itself. In a piece of writing, the word condensed means it has been shortened somehow and brings to mind brevity. In the context of which I am now using the word condensed, it means to make something richer, more concentrated. Selflessness is a denser form of love, it is agape. Selflessness is Christianity in motion.

I know I have not attained this level of relationship with my Savior, nor with my fellow man but I, like you, do have moments. If we are yielded to His guidance in those moments, selflessness flows through us into the life of someone else. What is especially interesting to me is when we have these moments, we are not even aware. But we are made aware after the fact, and it is glaringly obvious to us if we have failed. And oh, the pain at that discovery. In contrast, if we are yielded to Him and do in fact act selflessly, that too will be revealed after the moment has passed. I suspect in the latter case this is an even greater blessing, because if we knew we were being selfless, hubris would find a way to slip in and spoil the whole affair.

We are instructed time and time again to live with more concern for others. (Romans 12:10; 1 Corinthians. 10:24; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Philippians 2:3; and the pinnacle: Philippians 2:5-8)

The selfless person lives a life of sacrifice. How many of us can claim that we have acquired this attribute? Even the ones who could “boast” this would not. It is so natural to them that there is no forethought of being selfless, they just are.

The only ingredient in selflessness is love, and love encompasses all of the fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22. As I study the scriptures, I find that this is exactly what we are called to be: selfless. I admire those rare selfless beings, I think about those rivers of living waters, the rivers of love that flow through them. When you encounter these people, you want to be near them. We are drawn to them as a moth is to a flame, and I think that is because they are closer to what our Creator intended man to be. I find that I desire to stand so close to them that those rivers that cascade through their lives will inevitably splash some of that living water, some of that love upon me. It is my sincere hope that it is infectious, that I too may acquire what it is they have.

C. Klingle