I Was Reading Chambers…

Facebook Post- March 18, 2023

I was reading Chambers this morning and realized I had forgotten to yesterday’s entry. It amazes me how my Lord is using everything, even those things peripheral to get my attention: people, circumstances, music, the things I read, nature, all of it to bring me closer to Him. Some of it is uplifting and some of it cuts me deep.

Today Oswald exposited 2 Corinthians 5:9 “We make it our aim…to be well pleasing to Him.” And yet again, I am pierced. I am undone. I lose sight of Him all the time and He should always be my primary focal point. Chambers said, “It is not a lack of spiritual experience that leads to failure, but a lack of working to keep our eyes focused and on the right goal. At least once a week examine yourself before God to see if your life is measuring up to the standard, He has for you. Paul was like a musician who gives no thought to the audience approval, if he can only catch a look of approval from his Conductor.”

I find I still fall so short of what I believe He desires my life to be. That last sentence, “…if he can only catch a look of approval from his Conductor,” gives me pause. I still catch myself seeking approval at times from the audience. I have to ask myself, if I do the things I do for my own self-admiration or for His approval? What I discover is that yes, sadly yes, I still seek the accolades, and in that there is nothing wrong, but when it turns into something that strokes my pride, then all of it is like so much filth, waste, totally useless and should be discarded. “Oh, wretched man that I am.” It is a constant reminder that I have yet to arrive. It is pride, that horrid manifestation of insecurity. I hate it, I despise it in others, and yet I find it is still so alive in me.

I have never loved anyone like I love Him, willing to lay down all for Him, even this life, but it lingers. He has freed me from so much bondage, but it is apparent that there is still work to do be done. “Lord purge me of anything that does not bring you glory. At all costs Lord, no matter the consequences, I surrender all, reckless abandon to You.”